


I Hope You Understand. (Did What I Thought Was Best)

by Absolute_Trash37



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angry Kara Danvers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Self-Doubt, Sexual Tension, Why Did I Write This?, fluff maybe, i think i hate myself, i think that's why, not for long, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-01 23:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14531910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolute_Trash37/pseuds/Absolute_Trash37
Summary: Kara and Lena just after 3x16. Tensions are high after Lena kept Reign/Sam a secret from Kara(Supergirl). It went off the rails, it got really angsty.





	1. Chapter 1

After Reign escaped, everything went by so quickly, yet it was the slowest time had ever felt to Kara. Despite everyone's hesitations, they brought Lena to the DEO with them. Supergirl and Alex briefed her on the situation even though Lena seemed to already have the basic information figured out. 

Even Kara struggled to trust the CEO at this moment in time, Lena hadn't told her about their friend being a Worldkiller, she hadn't told Kara and she hadn't told Supergirl. When Kara rushed into that lab, it looked like Lena and Kara's worst fear had become a reality, like Lena had gone full mad scientist, full Luthor. It looked as if she was using their friend as a lab rat. Kara couldn't have known that Sam was Reign, because Lena hadn't told her. Her fear was justified, her anger and her sense of betrayal were justified, Lena lied. Lena had no reason and she kept what Sam was a secret, she risked her life and no one knew.

It was J'onn who handed Lena a DEO suit and told her to change, so as not to cause other employees to raise eyebrows. While Lena was getting changed, Alex came over to Kara's side.

“She lied to me Alex.” Kara spoke sadly, she felt as if her best friend had just ruined everything they had built over the last year or so. In comfort, Alex brushed Kara's shoulder gently. 

“She wanted to protect Sam, Kara.” Alex told her in an effort to calm her sister's nerves. Right on cue, Lena walked out and made her way to J'onn. She looked at him with a pleading look as she spoke. He nodded and said something in response before Lena walked out of the bullpen, past Alex and Kara.

“Ms. Luthor, where are you going?” Kara asked, trading her hurt for her stern Supergirl demeanor. 

“I am one of two people in the entire world who knows where Ruby is right now, Sam told me that Reign threatened to kill Ruby because she is Sam's strength. I need to move her somewhere safer.” Lena replied hurriedly, Alex moved from behind Kara in case she had to restrain the Kryptonian. 

“And where would that be?” Supergirl asked sternly. “One of your brother's old labs?” Lena bit her lip to hold in a tempered reply as she shook her head in disbelief.

“You know what, considering we're dealing with three aliens from Krypton, that actually might not be a bad idea.” Lena answered, clearly in a rush to get out of the secret operative base.

“So you actually know where one of his old labs is? That's great. Any other secrets you'd like to share Ms. Luthor?” Lena rolled her eyes with a scoff. Kara couldn't control her behaviour, everything had just built up the last few days, and her best friend's lie was the trigger to a bomb that had been waiting to go off.

“Supergirl...” Alex warned, Lena took that as her cue to begin to walk away.

“I'm sorry Ms. Luthor, but you kept a Worldkiller a secret and I'm just curious as to what else you might be waiting to tell me about.” Kara followed Lena persistently as she walked away. Similar to Kara, Lena had been building up a wall of stress and emotion, only Lena's had been building up for the past twenty-four years and it was about to crumble.

“Kara, you are the LAST person who should be lecturing me on secrets!” Lena finally screamed at the hero. This outburst left Kara in shock. Lena knew she was Supergirl, and didn't tell her that either. In her state of shock and clarity, she realized something Alex had before she growled out her warning: Lena was on the brink of tears. 

“Yeah, I know, I've known since you walked into my office with Superman by your side, yet I waited, I've waited! Because I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me yourself, but clearly there will never be a time where that will be the case.” Lena yelled at Kara. “You are the last person to lecture me about secrets, Supergirl.” Lena repeated in a deadly whisper.

“Because I'm a Luthor, I can't keep ONE secret for less than two weeks in the efforts to protect a friend. Yet because you're Supergirl, you're a hero, and you can lie to me for the ENTIRETY of our friendship, to-to what? 'Protect me'? I get death threats daily anyways, if you told me I'd be in no more danger than I already am right now!” Lena marched up to Kara, who was stunned into silence. The young Luthor seemingly regained her composure before she spoke sternly to the Kryptonian that could crush her like a twig. 

“You lied to me first. And I'm sorry, but I needed to protect Sam, and now I need to protect Ruby, because that is what I promised I would do. I'll be back in two hours, less, and you can yell at me then, but right now we don't have time.” Lena left with that final statement hanging in the air. And after Lena walked out of sight, Kara fell to her knees weakly. Alex stepped forward and crouched next to the blonde to give whatever comfort was needed.

“She's right...” Kara muttered quietly as she laid her head in the crook of Alex's neck. “I'm a hypocrite, I had no right.” 

***

Lena kept thinking about Kara and how she felt bad about lashing out on the drive to get Ruby, she may have scared off one of her only friends for good.

Lena drove the black convertible into the underground entrance of her safe house just outside of National City. Ruby was the one to immediately swing open the door and run to her.

“Can I see my mom, can I see her?” Ruby asked, pure joy in her voice. Jess soon caught up to the two girls.

“She's still sick Ruby, I'm here because there are dangerous people in National City, and they may try to find you and hurt you, so I want to take you somewhere safer than here.” Jess looked at her boss with concern. “Get your bag and get in the car.” Lena ordered, and Ruby ran off.

“Where?” The secretary asked without trying to push boundaries.

“Lex's closest lab is less than an hour away. We're dealing with aliens, Kryptonians, and Supergirl might not beat them. Lex's lab is your best chance to keep them out, to keep her safe. From the outside, I'm the only person who can open it.” Lena was evidently on edge. Jess looked at her unfamiliar uniform.

“Lena, you don't look like you think that everything will be okay.” Ruby ran out to the car. And Lena looked at the daughter of the woman she failed. 

“I fucked up Jess, and now the entire world may pay for my failure.” Lena replied timidly. Jess' eyes widened in shock and concern. “We need to go, I told Supergirl I'd be back in two hours time.” Lena sniffed weakly. The secretary nodded.

“Does that mean I get that raise if the world doesn't end?” The woman asked as they got into the convertible. Lena nodded.

“Absolutely.” 

***

Lena moved aside the bush that covered the trunk of a particularly wide tree to reveal a hand print scanner. Lena placed her palm on the scanner and the ground a few feet in front of Jess and Ruby opened to reveal a staircase that was brimmed with lights. “Jess, when you go in shut the door, don't open it until you feel it's safe. Only I can open the door from out here. Keep her safe.” Lena ordered while she handed Ruby's bag to her friend. The secretary nodded and took the first two steps. 

Ruby looked at Jess and then back to Lena, the young girl ran up to the Luthor and wrapped her arms around her. Lena reciprocated the hug with tears in her eyes.

“My Mom's dying isn't she?” Ruby asked, sad and scared and knowing all at once. Lena crouched down to the child's height and stared Ruby in the eyes.

“No she's not, but she wants you to be safe. And she loves you more than anything in the world, Ruby, more than anything.” 

“What about Kara? Is-is Alex okay? I haven't seen Alex either.” Lena smiled sadly.

“They're fine, and they miss you so so much, and I'm going to miss you too, but you need to stay safe. That's all any of us wants.” Lena kissed Ruby's forehead. “Go, go on.” Lena shooed Ruby down the stairs, and both Jess and Ruby gave one last longing look before the secretary shut the door. The young CEO walked back to the car and began to cry as she drove off.

Lena drove back to National City rather quickly and she was nearly back at the DEO before none other than Purity, Pestilence and Sam—no, not Sam, Reign landed on the hood of her car. Lena couldn't help but give a scream to that, she had nearly been flung out of the vehicle.

“Where is the girl?” Reign asked coldly. Lena smiled bitterly as she slowly undid her seat belt. 

“You'll never find her. Even if you do, you'll be dead before you can get your hands on her.” Lena swung open the car door and pressed the lock button and window lock at the same time before she ran off as quick as she could. The car went up in flames a moment later and she continued to sprint after pressing the panic button built into all DEO suits. Lena thought she had escaped before Pestilence grabbed her from behind and threw her to the ground forcefully. Luckily, unlike when Cyborg Henshaw had thrown her to the cement, her arm managed to take the majority of the impact. 

Reign flew to the two of them and landed on the ground in front of where Lena laid. “You're willing to die for the spawn of this.” Reign motioned to herself.

“Funny you say, some people would just classify it as a death wish. Yes, I'd die for Ruby, for Supergirl, for SAM, I would, and I will.” Reign lifted Lena up by her throat in fury, her eyes threatened to shoot the heat vision they possessed.

“TELL ME!” Reign demanded.

“Sam... you don't have to, you can fight it.” Lena choked out, and Reign threw Lena with all of her force, and the young woman smashed into a tree. She fell to the ground i excruciating pain. Lena's nose now bled from her impact with the ground and she knew she was lucky her spine was still in tact, it however did not help with the fact that her everything hurt.

Reign raced over and lifted her up off the ground by her neck again. “Any last words, Luthor?” Reign asked coldly.

“Sam, if you can hear me, remember, I don't blame you for this, for what Reign does to me, I don't blame you.” That choked out confession made Reign blink in shock, and the red faded from her eyes, as did the superhuman strength that held Lena above the ground, Sam dropped her friend and covered her mouth in horror. 

“Oh my god, Lena.” Sam was horrified. The last thing she recalled was being in the lab with Lena, and now she had been strangling the second party. 

“KILL HER!” Pestilence shouted in fury. “KILL HER!” When Sam crouched next to the coughing woman on the ground, Purity raced forward and threw Sam back, the confused and scared woman landed on the ground with a thud.  
Purity floated above the ground and used her sonic scream on Lena. The CEO cried out in a pain that made every other trauma seem like a papercut. The young CEO lost her ability to think as she covered her ears desperately. Lena's hands fell from her bleeding ears right before something flung Purity away. 

“Leave her alone!” Kara yelled, protectively covering Lena with her own body. Sam blinked in confusion before Pestilence and Purity assisted her off of the ground and Reign took over. 

“We will find the child.” Reign warned, before the three of them flew away. After Kara was convinced that they were gone, she sat back, away from the CEO.

“Lena, they're gone, it's okay, you're safe.” Kara took a deep breath before she looked at the CEO, who hadn't moved. “Lena?” Kara looked at the blood that leaked from Lena's earlobes. She turned her friend onto her back and saw that Lena's eyes were closed. “Lena.” Kara shook the dark haired woman. “No.” Kara's eyes went wide, before she heard the threads of a heartbeat. “Not you too.” Kara held Lena close as she flew back to the DEO.

“HELP! HELP! WE NEED HELP.” Kara yelled as she ran down the landing, Lena still in her arms. Immediately a hospital cot was rolled out and Alex rushed over. 

“Kara what happened?” Kara's mind was unraveling and Alex sounded a million miles away. She and Lena had been fighting, and she accused Lena of being the exact opposite of what her personality truly held. Lena nearly died, may be dead and they were fighting, and the last thing she remembered of Kara would be the “Luthor” accusations. Never hearing Lena's laugh, or never seeing her smile, the thought made Kara nauseous. “Kara! What happened!?” The hero finally snapped out of it and choked out an answer.

“I guess she moved Ruby, and the Worldkillers attacked her on her way back into town, she-she didn't stand a chance, Alex.” Kara started to emotionally unravel in front of the entire DEO, but the blonde couldn't care less, because she would be damned if she were to lose Lena so soon, and after an argument like that. She wouldn't, she couldn't lose Lena, or she'd lose her will to fight. And that was when it dawned on Kara, the reason she was so furious when Lena lied, because it felt as if Lena didn't trust her, and Kara couldn't imagine a world in which she and Lena couldn't be honest with each other. Kara loved Lena, and as more than just a friend. She knew that when she looked down at Lena on the cot and instantly felt more panicked than she ever did when James or Mon-el were in danger.

“She seems to be comatose.” Alex declared with confusion in her features. The red head checked Lena's eyes again, just to be sure. “There is extreme head trauma, but we can't know anything until she wakes up...”

“I feel like there's an 'however' in there somewhere.” Kara announced. Alex looked at Kara sympathetically. 

“If she wakes up.” Alex finally admitted. Kara's brain was moving a million miles a minute.

“Where's Brainy?” Kara asked suddenly. Alex pointed to the corner of the room where Brainy and Imra were were talking. Kara sprinted over to them “Brainy, can you get me into Lena's head like what you did with me.” 

“Should you not be searching for the Worldkillers?” Brainy asked.

“Please, I need to talk to her, I need to try. Please Brainy.” Imra looked at how worried Kara was, and it was even worse than when Alex was sick. The alien looked to Irma for permission, and the brunette nodded.

“Be quick, we need you out there.” 

“I will, thank you.” Kara's voice was raspy and strained, she was attempting to hold back tears. 

“Please, move her somewhere more secure.” Brainy asked, followed by Alex and J'onn rolling the cot into the med bay where Alex and Winn had been mere hours earlier.

Brainy ran off briefly before he returned with the same clamp that went onto Kara's forehead when she was stuck in her coma. He placed it on Lena's forehead cautiously before he looked to Kara for affirmation. The Superhero nodded and Brainy placed a hand on her shoulder before he placed two fingers on his opposite temple.

Kara and Brainy were transported into a dreary and darker version of Lena's office, and the CEO herself sat in her white chair and faced the widow out upon the city.

“Lena.” Kara spoke out. The chair spun around and Lena was wearing the outfit she wore when she and Kara first met. The young woman's eyes grew wide in shock as she stood and walked over to Kara. Lena's hands hovered over Kara's face, as if the CEO were scared that if she touched the blonde, she'd disappear. 

“What are you doing here?” Lena asked as she finally cupped Kara's cheeks. Both women had tears in their eyes as Kara grabbed Lena's forearms to keep the dark haired woman from pulling away.

“You're in a coma, Lena. I needed to come see you and try to pull you out of it.” Kara told her.

“I thought I was dead. I thought I was in hell.” Lena admitted. “I-I need to tell you so much, I'm sorry that I lied to you, it was horrible and it wasn't fair and I just wanted to protect Sam, Ruby is in one of Lex's old labs with Jess, they'll be safe from the Worldkillers, and they know to call you if I'm not back there in two days.” Lena rambled with urgency. Kara closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling as she placed her forehead on Lena's.

“Shh-shh, Lena, it's okay, it's okay. I shouldn't have lashed out, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was wrong and angry and that's no excuse, because you're not like Lex, Lena, you're so so good, and you're only going up.” It was clear both women wanted to be closer than a forehead touch, but Brainy cleared his throat before they could act on it. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but there is a crisis going on out there.” Brainy spoke gently, it was all he was brave enough to say with his first interaction with Lena Luthor. He and Irma had both squealed once they heard the future mother of pure, eco-friendly power and transportation and the creater of the cures for cancer and gangrene, would be coming to the DEO.

“He's right, you should go.” Lena insisted. Kara shook her head.

“Lena, you might not come out of it if it's later.” Lena sighed.

“I know, but we don't know how to pull me out of it and maybe here I can access parts of my mind I can't while awake, I'll work on stopping Reign from in here, you work on it from out there.” Lena insisted.

“You're sure?” Lena nodded. “Brainy will be around, just tell him when you figure it out. I'll see you soon, in the real world.” Lena smiled sadly and gave another nod. 

“Go.”

“Okay, pull me out.” Kara braced herself.

“Kara! Wait.” Lena ran up to the Superhero before Brainy grabbed onto her shoulder. The dark haired CEO pulled Kara into a tight and quick kiss, before she pushed the blonde into Brainy's grasp and she disappeared. “Go save the world.”

Kara stumbled once she gained her consciousness back. She held onto Lena's cot to steady herself before she looked at Lena lovingly. 

“Did it work?” Kara shook her head at Alex's question. 

“No, but I'll get her back. When she's ready.” Kara squeezed Lena's hand for reassurance. “Right now we have three Worldkillers to separate.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, not really, kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 like a week after the actual aftermath was revealed but you know what this is fanfiction and I'll do as I please.

“No, but I'll get her back. When she's ready.” Kara squeezed Lena's hand for reassurance. “Right now we have three Worldkillers to separate.”

* * *

Kara could only hope that Winn's last minute plan wouldn't destroy everything, Kara didn't like it but it was their best shot for the time being. The Worldkillers were attacking the park by Supergirl's statue and Kara, Imra and J'onn all raced over to the monument to fight them. They hoped that the tiny form of a plan they had wouldn't backfire or get them killed. Especially since Kara had a girl she had to tell she felt the same for waiting back at the DEO.

Once they got to the monument, they found each Worldkiller causing their own havoc. Reign used her heat vision from above to set cars and buildings on fire, Purity stood at the base of the statue, using her sonic scream to literally blow people away, and Pestilence made her way back and forth between the possible escape routes and kept people from running. 

“Keep them here!” Kara yelled out once they neared, purposefully trying to get Reign's attention. “We can't let Reign get anywhere near L-Corp and Ruby!” Reign's head snapped towards the blonde superhero before she locked eyes with Purity.

“You couldn't even kill the Luthor, what makes you think you can kill the little girl?” Purity questioned before she launched herself at J'onn. Her scream caused him to take a free fall out of the air.

“I got him.” Imra spoke quickly, before she took a dive after him. Kara flew in front of Reign.

“Remember the last time we fought? I do believe it didn't end well for you. If I recall correctly.” Reign gave Kara a sickening smile before she flew away towards L-Corp. Kara raced after her, she used her heat vision, but Reign swerved and fired back, efficiently knocking Kara down several feet before the Super regained her composure. Kara flew as quickly as she could before she finally managed to get a grip on Reign and throw her back.

L-Corp was in clear view now, and if they used their x ray vision, so was Ruby, inside Lena's office innocently.

“There she is.” Reign spoke with an evil chill to her voice. 

“NO!” Kara yelled, she attacked Reign with her heat vision before the Worldkiller fought back with her own. Their lasers collided at the same time and both women fought to hold the power they needed. 

This time, Reign was the first to pull away as she flew up. Once Kara missed her target, she flew towards L-Corp, feet behind Reign. Supergirl managed to grab Reign's ankles and toss her back. The fight outside the L-Corp window got Ruby's attention, and the twelve year old girl was clearly scared.

Kara waited for Reign to get close before they started throwing punches. Kara got in a few that barely fazed the Worldkiller, while Reign was relentless with hit after hit.  
Kara crashed into the balcony, a spot Lena had admitted was her favourite spot in National City more than once. 

Reign flew down and grabbed Kara by the throat before she carelessly tossed the weakened hero off of the balcony. Kara let herself fall before she braced herself mere feet up. 

“Ouch.” The blonde groaned as she made a Supergirl shaped hole in the sidewalk. 

“Supergirl?” Ruby asked sadly, obviously nervous and scared. Reign planted her feet onto the balcony and caused the plaster to splinter. Ruby stood and backed up as Reign walked through the window, causing it to shatter. 

“Don't hurt me, please!” Ruby begged the woman in black.

“You must die.” Reign spoke, her iris' glowing a bold red. Reign stepped forward and Ruby ran to the side in terror. 

“Leave me alone! Please! Mom, Mommy! Where are you! Mommy help me!” Ruby cried in fear while she blocked her head with her arms before she collapsed in on herself.

In the dream state Sam was in, she stopped running away from Reign when she felt a familiar warmth in her heart. The warmth she felt whenever she looked at Ruby. And if Sam couldn't save Lena until it was too late, she wouldn't let the same happen to Ruby. Sam didn't care if she died, she wouldn't let Reign hurt her baby.

“You can't run forever. It would be easier if you gave in.” Reign called out from the path between the trees as she started to catch up to Sam.

“I'm about to kill the thing you love most, how does it feel?” Reign peeked her head around the trunk of a tree Sam had just run from.

“She's calling for you, can you hear her? Little does poor Ruby know, Mommy isn't coming to save her, Mommy is killing her.” Reign looked down the other way and with a scream, Sam lunged. She wrapped her arms around Reign's neck and just focused on staying on so Reign couldn't grab her in return and toss her several feet away. Like she did to Lena. Lena, Lena who was probably dead because she couldn't fight Purity even after she snapped out of it, Lena who looked so broken because of her. Sam wouldn't let anyone else get hurt, especially not her daughter.

Reign smashed into trees in attempt to knock Sam off but stumbled more and more as she did. It had been forever since she and Ruby had watched Harry Potter, but she remembered a quote that fit perfectly as Reign fell to her knees. 

“Not my daughter, you bitch.” Reign fell forward in a black out and Sam took to bashing the alien's head into the ground repeatedly, somehow succeeding. 

Sam pulled back and shut her eyes for a long while. When she reopened them, she stood in Lena's office and Ruby sat crumpled in a ball terrified. 

“I'm sorry, so sorry.” Sam fell to the ground in weakness, she looked at her daughter with desperation. 

“Ruby, I love you so much.” Sam whimpered sadly as she tore off her mask and started to take out her hair sadly. The young girl looked up, any evidence of shock or fear were gone, and all that remained was a happily stunned face. 

“Sam? You're you?” Ruby asked, and Sam's eyes grew wide in confusion. 

“What???” Sam couldn't fathom why her daughter was calling her by her name.

“It's not Ruby.” Supergirl flew up and landed inside the office. “You think Lena or Alex would let us lay a hand on Ruby without your permission? It's a hologram Winn's been working on, and he's the one controlling it's actions.”

“Hi, Sam.” The hologram of her daughter waved at her.

“Where is she? Ruby?”

“Do you think Reign's coming back?” Sam shook her head as she brought her knees into her chest. “Lena left her with Jess in an old lab of Lex's. Only she can open the door from the outside.” Sam's eyes grew wide.

“Oh my god, Lena, I killed her, I killed Lena, and so many others... I killed her...” Sam began to question in horror. 

“No, Rao no. She was hurt pretty bad and right now she's... comatose, but she should wake up soon. And that was Purity and Reign, not you.” 

“I threw her into a tree so forcefully that the tree bent, I nearly strangled her to death, Supergirl. I felt her fading away.” Sam sobbed into her own shoulder.

“Reign did that, you stopped her, and Lena doesn't blame you.” Supergirl spoke softly. “We need to get you out of here before Purity or Pestilence comes.” Kara wanted to help Sam but it couldn't be here, not in the ruins of the office she and Lena share.

“J'onn, Imra, are you two doing okay?” Kara asked so her comm could pic it up.

“We have Purity contained, but Pestilence is a little more difficult. Guardian and Mon-el are here though, we'll be fine.” J'onn replied.

“Stay safe.” Supergirl answered finally. The hero looked back to Sam and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I'm going to fly you back to my workplace now, the DEO. Are you okay with that?” Sam nodded. Kara held onto Sam's waist as if they were hugging and Sam hung on by Kara's shoulders as they flew away.

Kara landed on the landing pad of the DEO and released Sam. Alex looked up at the brunette in amazement. 

“Alex...” Sam looked at the red head who was running up the steps. 

“I'm so happy you're back.” Alex hugged Sam as tightly as she could. The brunette wondered why everyone was so eager to forgive her when she did so many horrible things. “Could I change? I hate this suit...” Alex nodded sympathetically. Susan walked across the bullpen and Alex stopped her.

“Vasquez, could you get some clothes from my go bag? Then take Sam to change.” Vasquez nodded and greeted Sam with a smile and open arms. 

“How's Lena?” Kara asked. Alex looked down and Kara got very scared very quickly.

“I didn't see it when we first brought her in, but the X-Rays came back and showed that she had some broken ribs, and she's in surgery now to get the ribs and her fractured arm set, the doctors are prepared for internal bleeding. A bruise began to flower by her hairline too, and I think we need to wake her up soon.”

“How didn't you see broken ribs and a fractured arm?” Kara accused. 

“Because I waited to examine her until after you left. You wouldn't have left her side and we needed you out there to stop the Worldkillers, to save Sam.” Alex explained her reasoning, Kara was dissatisfied. “Lena is still in surgery, you can't do anything now, I suggest you get back out there and help.” Kara nodded lowly.

“Make sure Brainy tells Lena that Sam is safe and she's back, and that Reign is gone.” Alex nodded, and Kara flew off. 

Kara flew down to see Purity in on of Imra's force fields, and J'onn, Mon-el and James were all fighting Pestilence, they tried to knock her down long enough for Imra to get a decent shot, and they weren't doing well.

“Imra, can you get Purity to the DEO containment cells?” Kara asked, the Titanian nodded and flew upwards, using her telekinesis to carry the force field that contained a very angry Purity. Thankfully the force field dampened the sonic screams she shot their way. Imra soon left their sight.

Kara joined the fight against Pestilence full bore, she started by blasting her heat vision at the other Kryptonian before Mon-el used his cape to latch onto her hand and slam her to the ground. Pestilence grabbed his cape and pulled up before he managed to retract, Mon-el went flying into an open dumpster. Guardian used his shield and slammed it down to knock Pestilence out, but the Kryptonian just dented the metal. Kara used her freeze breath to try to hold Pestilence down. She realized she failed when James had to lift up his shield to stop ice shards from piercing his suit. 

“We just need to hold her until Imra gets back.” J'onn ordered the heroes. 

“Harder said-” Mon-el was interrupted when Pestilence grabbed his ankle and flipped him onto his back. “-than done.” He groaned as Pestilence placed a foot on his chest. 

“I don't like this one.” Pestilence spoke coldly. And if James hadn't hit the back of her knees with his shield, she would have punched Mon-el into oblivion. 

Kara used her heat vision to keep Pestilence at bay, but everything went south when she pushed off and flew into the air, spinning rapidly. It seemed like there was black wind surrounding her in a vortex before Pestilence landed on the ground and it shot out like a sound-wave. J'onn and Kara were pretty positive they just witnessed the creation of a plague. “How does it feel, Zor-el, the knowledge that your sister and girlfriend have both been hit with one of my personal favourites? So wickedly fatal.” Kara's eyes widened. 

“Winn get to Alex and Lena check to see if they're aright.” Kara talked to her comm angrily as her heat vision built up. Pestilence, for the first time since they met the Worldkiller, was actually phased by the blast Kara sent her way. Kara didn't pull back even after the Worldkiller hit the ground. She kept firing with a scream, and only J'onn was brave enough to try to talk some common sense to her.

“You can't help them if you blow out your powers, SUPERGIRL!” J'onn tried futilely. “Kara.” He hissed powerfully. Kara didn't stop until she realized that her heat vision was no longer actually making contact with Pestilence, but that it was molding into the force field Imra had surrounded the Worldkiller in. 

“Remember, Supergirl. You're the one who kept me from killing Pestilence originally. You're better than this. Keep a clear head. For Alex and Lena, for Preya.” Kara accepted that and she flew to the DEO with all her strength that she had left.

“Where are they!?” Kara ran through the DEO. Winn pointed to the med bay. 

Kara had never run faster.

Alex was in even worse shape than before, she was shaking and her face was as pale as possible. She was unconscious and Kara wondered how quickly it took, she knew that even though Alex was out of it, her pain wasn't relieved at all. Only Alex was in the med bay, Lena wasn't.

Lena.

Lena, who had been in surgery, who was already near death, who couldn't take any more strain. 

Kara listened closely as she soared through the halls. The first heartbeat she heard was Alex's, it was faint and thready while still unhealthily rapid, and that was almost enough to make Kara sob, so when she heard nothing but an echo of Lena's, she nearly lost it right in the hallway. 

“LENA!” Kara looked through the window to the OR. They were warming up the defibrillators to try to bring her back. 

“Lena, come on.” Kara walked through the doors, the surgeons barely paid attention as they were ordered to do everything in their ability to fix her.

“Clear.” They placed the defibrillators on her chest and Lena's body jumped. 

“Come on, come on, come on, come on. Lena, fight, come back to me, Lena come back.” Kara told the young Luthor desperately. 

“Clear!” The doctor tried again and Lena's body went into a spasm. 

“Lena, please, please Lena. Don't do this. Please.” Kara felt weaker by the minute, her stomach was in knots, something that hadn't happened since she blew out her powers. She hated this feeling, helplessness and desperation, she hated it. The next time she spoke, it was so tiny and so weak. “Lena... please...”

“Clear!” The doctor's voice cracked and he shocked Lena one more time, she jumped once again, but she was still unresponsive. 

“No,” it came out as a mere whisper but it showed how broken Kara was over the Luthor.  
Lena would never smile again, would never laugh. She and Lena would never get the chance to nerd out about science together. Lena would only remember Kara using her last name against her, an informal apology, and a kiss the hero was too surprised to properly reciprocate, they never got to really kiss. Lena would never get to fully clear her family's name. Kara would listen for their heartbeats when she was nervous, and one of them wouldn't be there, they both might not be there. She wouldn't be able to cope with that. Lena, the person who saw Kara before she saw Supergirl, even though she knew the whole time, Lena who wanted to wait for Kara to tell her the truth. Lena Luthor wasn't going to turn twenty-five, let alone thirty, or sixty. A mind that the entire world envied wasn't going to reach it's full potential. Lena would never get over her self hate or her deep insecurities or her self doubt. Lena Luthor, a woman with hair as dark as night and eyes that glowed like Kryptonite, who had the brightest light around, had that said light put out. And Kara blamed herself, she couldn't deal with it, she was unraveling on the spot. Oh Rao, oh Rao, ohraoohraoohraoohrao...

“Fuck it. CLEAR!” The doctor tried one last time, and Kara thanked Rao that he did, because it started, she heard Lena's heartbeat. And nearly let out a sob of joy. 

“Supergirl,we're going to need you to leave so we can finished as quickly as possible and get her stable.” Kara nodded in complete understanding.

“Brainy.” Kara questioned as she walked into the bullpen. 

“I'm already looking at the symptoms, ailments and possible cures.” Brainy spoke quickly while he walked to a lab.

“Does the DEO have anti-venom?” Kara's brow furrowed in curiosity. 

“Anti-venom?” 

“I've narrowed it down to a combination of Pestilence's DNA alongside the venom from either the Black Mamba snake, The Brazilian Wandering spider, or most likely of all, Gil'Dishpan venom.”

“I didn't know they were poisonous,” Kara stated quickly.

“Typically they aren't, but some of the oldest contain toxins that are quite deadly to any non-aquatic species.”

“I doubt we'd have it on hand then.” Kara answered.

“Alright, I'll get to our ship, get some from our supply, and hopefully it'll be enough for them both, Imra is bringing Pestilence back as we speak. Oh, Supergirl, make sure the DNA gathered from Pestilence is from the mouth.” Brainy left without another word. 

Kara walked back to the med bay and took a seat next to Alex. She held her hand in comfort and subconsciously decided that her sister had to stop nearly dying. The people she cared about had to stop nearly dying. 

“Is she alright?” It was J'onn, beaten and bruised behind her. Kara lowered her head and shook it quickly while she bit her lower lip.

“Brainy is going to work on anti venom. But look at her, she must be dying inside. Lena's heart stopped.” Kara looked at Alex. “What if the same happens to Alex? What if she doesn't come back from this?”

J'onn furrowed his brow. “I'm scared too, Kara, but she is strong, the last thing Pestilence threw her way didn't even faze her. She'll in this, she has to.”

“But what if we're too late, anti-venoms take time, and what if we don't have that time? I can't lose her, J'onn. Either of them.” J'onn nodded and placed a hand on Kara's shoulder and he placed his other hand on Alex's free hand that wasn't being held by Kara. 

“We can't think like that, or else she's definitely a goner.” J'onn told her. “She will be alright, she has to be.” 

Kara watched as they brought Pestilence to the opposite side of the DEO to put her in one of the extra reinforced cells. Briefly after, Brainy returned and followed in the same direction. After that, Sam emerged for the first time since she was brought to the DEO. 

“Susan told me about Alex and Lena, are they alright?” Kara sighed in reply.

“Alex, will be soon, they're gathering the anti-venom now,” Kara paused. “Lena's heart stopped while in surgery, they brought her back but barely. They need to rush a procedure that needs to take time.”

“Can I see them? Can I see Alex?” Sam asked. Kara led the brunette to her sister's bed. 

“She's so weak...” Sam spoke sadly.

“You weren't here, you didn't do this, you can't blame yourself.”

“Can't I though? I'm a World Killer, if I could just get a strong enough grip, Pestilence wouldn't be an issue.” Kara shook her head.

“No, we could never ask that of you, we don't kill, and we wouldn't let you sacrifice yourself like that, ever.” Kara argued.

“Look at her, Kara-”

“Wait! You know too!?” Kara rolled her eyes and groaned. “Does all of National City know?” Sam shrugged.

“The glasses don't help. The personality does but you've been letting worried Kara slip, instead of problem solving Supergirl.” 

“Can you blame me? Two of the most important people in my life are dying, and one actually died, I can't be okay right now.” Sam nodded.

“I know it's unlikely but have you and Lena gotten together yet? She's so into you.”

“I feel the same, but she's been asleep since she brought Ruby to Lex's lab.” Sam's eyes melted at the sound of her daughter's name.

“Ruby... she must be so confused and scared.”

“I know, but you'll see her soon, as soon as Lena wakes up.” Kara insisted.

“I know, I know.” 

Brainy rushed in with two needles in hand. 

“The process was sped up but it should still work just as well. I must say, I truly enjoyed sticking a large Kryptonite needle into Pestilence's mouth.” Brainy rushed over to the IV tube and injected the fluid from within the needle into the IV. “Now, for Madam Luthor.” he rushed off and Kara finally truly exhaled for the first time since she found Lena, broken on the highway. Just as Kara exhaled Lena was wheeled back into the same room as Alex had.

Sam nearly gasped at how horrible her friend looked. The fact that she had done this to her made it even worse. Lena was Sam's best friend, the only person she could really trust with anything. And Alex... the woman who she'd been falling for more and more by the day. Both of whom she had hurt so, so badly.

“She's stable but weak, it doesn't look like she'll be able to wake up any time soon.” The surgeon spoke quickly as he locked the wheels on the gurney.

“But Alex said the longer she was out of it the less likely she'd wake up.” Kara defended. The surgeon nodded.

“It still applies, but her body is weak, I assume her mind is too. She won't awaken any time soon, I know that is an issue, but it is the truth.” He left before Kara could properly yell at him.

“Brainy.” Kara demanded as he injected the second needle into Lena's IV. 

“Yes, I will get you in there. Give me a moment.” He rushed off, and before Kara followed she turned to a very confused Sam.

“Stay with them, if Alex wakes up tell her I love her and that I'll be back soon.”

“What about Lena?” Sam asked worriedly.

“I'm going to wake her up.” Kara insisted before she zoomed away.

* * *

Kara was back inside Lena's mind, inside her beloved L-Corp office. While everything before had been faded, the office was now dark and the flowers on the glass table were dead. Her mind was beginning to imitate her body. 

“Oh Rao... Lena!?” Kara called out desperately, with no sign of the CEO. 

“Out here!” Kara looked at the balcony and realized that the dark sky melded perfectly with Lena's black blazer, hair and skirt.

“Lena, what's going on in here?” Kara walked out onto the balcony to see that Lena was going through images and formulas and phrases and words like holograms, swiping away what didn't matter and zooming in on important information. 

“I had to go in deep, self-loathing and bad memories apparently have the ability to taint your surrounding.” Lena spoke quickly, not looking away from the images.

“Lena-”

“Is Sam alright? I haven't found a way other than for her to kill Reign whilst in the other dimension.”

“She already did. To protect Ruby, Sam is back and Reign is dead. Lena we can go now. You have to wake up.” 

“But Kara,” Lena finally pulled away and the was a very different sparkle in her eyes than normal. While her eyes and voice were energetic and obsessed, her body looked just like it did in the real world. 

“I know where Jack and I went wrong, I can cure cancer, and gangrene, maybe more. I looked back at an old experiment Lex and I did, I might even be able to create STEM cells, clones, the ability to replace lost limbs. Kara, imagine what I can find if I just dig a little deeper!” Lena turned back to the images, and Kara tuned into the words.

Only some were in English, and it appeared there were at least seven other languages scrambled in there. But some of the phrases were heartbreaking, slurs Lillian must have told her, Lex demanding her to join him. Some of the words had images to go along with them, some abusive and heartbreaking from her life only mere years before, some happy from her time with Sam and Ruby and Kara. 

But the worst were the images of empty whisky bottles and shattered glass and every assassination attempt in her life, the words that came from her own mind that were right at the surface. “I'm not worth it, never have been.”, “Selfish, cold”. “Killer”, “If I could just show someone this, they could save the world,”, “I shouldn't wake up in the morning.”, “I'm a waste of oxygen,”, “probably just like them, just another Luthor.”. The last one that Kara read was the worst of all, “nobody ever believes in me, they can lie and say they do, but never completely, I make one mistake and they turn on me immediately.” 

Kara blamed herself for that one.

“Lena.” Kara ordered. “LENA!” The Kyptonian grabbed the Luthor by her shoulders and forced her to look at Kara. “Lena, the deeper you go the more your body gets weaker and the more you hurt your mind. If you never wake up, you can't cure cancer, you can't make the STEM cells, you need to wake up to do that! So come ON Lena, stop doubting yourself, you are loved, _I_ love you! Lena please, I can't lose you too!” That got Lena's crazy eyes to cool down a bit, and she looked at Kara with some sense. 

“If you won't wake up for you, wake up for Sam and Ruby, wake up for me, Lena. Because I can't lose someone else I care about, someone else that I would rather die for than to lose.” Kara pleaded, Lena looked at Kara as she thought of it. Kara placed her forehead on Lena's “Please Lena, _please_. I can't do this without you.” Kara begged and the blonde brought her mouth closer to the shorter woman's. 

“Anything.” Lena place her hands on Kara's face and closed the distance.

* * *

Alex woke up and the two had been talking and hugging a lot. Both women were worried for Lena but Alex had nearly died twice in less than a week, and she did something she had wanted to do for a growing time now. Alex kissed Sam passionately. 

“I'm in it for you and Ruby.” Alex had said after Sam breathed out a “finally”.

They had a couple other pecks when Lena opened her eyes.

“Will you two love birds either get a room or wait until I have a camera.” The CEO's accent rally came out in her drowsy state. 

“Oh thank God. Sam hugged the CEO and Lena managed—only barely— to reciprocate.

Kara ran into the room and nearly let out a sob, she used her super-speed to get to her sister and give her a near-bone crushing hug. Sm pulled away and watched happily.

“Thank Rao.” She turned to Lena. 

“I thought they pulled me out, I didn't know you were awake. We definitely need to give you a love yourself intervention after that, missy.” Kara leaned down and kissed the dark haired woman on the cot. It was twenty times better than the kisses they shared in Lena's dream state. And it was even better than Lena had ever imagined it being.

“As much as I'd like to sit here all day, do I not have a young child to bring back?” Lena tried to sit up but groaned. 

“Not like this, you can barely sit up let alone walk.” Kara argued.

“Then carry me, Supergirl. I bringing Ruby back to her mom, they've waited long enough.” Lena defended. The hero looked at Sam's desperately excited face and sighed. 

“Fine, but you aren't moving or driving. You'll tell me where to go.”

“Deal.” Lena pulled off her blanket and Kara put her arms under Lena's knees and on her back, she lifted the small woman up with ease before she looked at Sam. 

“You ready to see your daughter?” Kara asked. Sam nodded, speechless.

“You better bring her right back here you assholes.” Alex ordered. Kara smiled. 

By the time the three woman got Lena into a sitting position that didn't make her cry out in pain, Alex had come down to join them.

“You should be resting!” Kara ordered. 

“Yeah, hell no, I changed my mind, I'm not letting you three have all the fun, I haven't seen Ruby in ages and I miss that kid.” Alex hoped into the back of the car next to Sam.

The drive took about half an hour with Kara's insane driving. And they walked through the woods until Lena told them to stop from within Kara's arms. 

“Let me down...” The young Luthor asked. Kara obeyed reluctantly and gently. Lena moved some leaves aside and placed her palm on a hidden scanner. There was a mechanic sound, and before they knew it, a square hatch shifted and moved to the side. Revealing a stair case. Kara picked Lena up again protectively, and Lena rolled her eyes affectionately. 

“Back up, I don't want her to see you until she's up all the way.” Lena told Sam secretly. The CEO turned to the open ground and called out. “Jess, Ruby, it's me, I'm here to take you home!” Ruby came running up first, her back pack on securely. 

“Supergirl!” Ruby said happily since that was the first person other than Lena that she saw. 

“MOM!” Ruby got to ground level and laid eyes on her mother, and that was it. Ruby flew into her mother's arms and Sam fell to Ruby's height, crying happily. 

“Hi, baby. I missed you so much.” Sam spoke from the bottom of her heart. 

“I missed you too.” Ruby cried happily and they only broke apart so Sam could litter Ruby's face with kisses.

Jess finally joined the party and immediately showed extreme concern for her boss. 

“Ms. Luthor are you alright? What happened?” Before Lena could answer, Kara did, unintentionally. 

“She was a hero,” and that's all the answer that was needed. Ruby and Alex hugged now, and the agent lifted the child and spun her around. 

Sam and Alex quickly told Ruby about their interest in each other and Ruby squealed in delight. She loved her gay family. 

Ruby told Sam and Alex to wait one moment before the young girl walked to Lena, who was smiling sadly at the scene she had just watched. 

“Are you hurt?” Ruby asked. Lena shook her head and Kara glared at her. 

“No, weak, tired, a little sore, but not hurt.” Lena reached out and cupped Ruby's cheek briefly. 

“Supergirl can you bend over?” Ruby asked, Kara furrowed her brow in confusion. “Trust me.” Ruby insisted.

“Well, whatever you say.” Kara switched into her Supergirl demeanour, and got onto her knees, careful not to hurt Lena. Ruby came closer and kissed Lena on the forehead, her mom's go-to feel better trick. 

“Do you feel better?” Ruby asked. Lena couldn't help but smile with pride and joy. 

“Absolutely, now why don't we get going.” Lena answered as Supergirl stood again. 

Sam picked up Ruby and the six of them walked back to the highway.

Ruby and Jess were now in the car and the four women looked at each other oddly. 

“Okay, I'll say it. What do we do now?” Alex asked. 

“I don't know, but we have each other and that's what matters right now.” Kara answered as she placed her hand in Lena's. “Let's go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please no spelling errors please no spelling errors please no spelling errors  
> What do you think? Hope it was worth it and that you enjoyed

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy.


End file.
